According to a news item for The Scotsman newspaper by Louise Gray, the Master of the Queen’s Music is in a bit of a royal mess. Sir Peter Maxwell Davies is the object of a police "inquiry" after it is discovered that he has eaten swan.

In the United Kingdom, the whooper swan enjoys the protection of the Crown and may be eaten only by the Queen.

Sir Peter, who lives in the Orkney Isles, even offered the constable’s search party a sampling of swan meat from his tureen. "But they wouldn’t think of it," said Sir Peter.

Sir Peter said he obtained the swan after the hapless bird flew into overhead electrical transmission lines. "When I discovered the dead animal, I cut off the tender meat from its breast and legs and fed the rest to the cats," be confessed. "That’s what I always do."

Sir Peter freely reported to constables that he’d stored the swan’s wings in a shed to be used as "angel wings" by school children during a reenactment of the nativity scene. Constables seized the wings as "evidence."

As the Master of the Queen’s Music, Sir Peter expressed great concern about his duties performing at a spring concert at Westminster Central Hall in London for the Queen and the Duke of Edinborough. "Perhaps, instead, I shall be confined to the Tower of London," Sir Peter said wryly.

As the inquiry continued, it was discovered that many people on the Orkney Isles eat whooper swans after they fly into overhead lines.

A friend of Sir Peter explained that although in England a swan is the property of the royals, things are quite different in Orkney. According to ancient Viking law, in the small area of the British Isles known as Orkney, the whooper swan belongs to the people — not to the Crown.

While it’s true that a roasted swan once was the centerpiece at a royal festival, in recent years the swan has been replaced by turkey. One can only hope that the solicitors and barristers (whoever) can iron out the differences between Sir Peter and the Northern Constabulary before the spring concert.