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"How Nunzio Meets Girls"

The late Frank Rizzo, former police commissioner of Philadelphia once said: "The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It’s only the people who make them unsafe."

One certifiably unsafe character is Nunzio, still unmarried at age 41. He claims all he wants is a steady girlfriend, but he doesn’t have a clue about how to meet girls. Nunzio comes from a broken family, which may explain his lack of training in the social graces.

Arrested for a few minor crimes as a juvenile, he’s been exposed to what we must assume is the wrong kind of people. As an adult, Nunzio’s favorite way of meeting young women goes something like this:

Driving along the city streets he sees a young girl he finds to be attractive and bumps her car. Not hard — just hard enough to be defined as an accident. Nunzio and the girl both jump out of their cars. He’s very apologetic. They exchange information as required by law.

Fortunately, Nunzio happens to have a camera in his car which he uses to take pictures of the damage. The pretty girl owner of the car just happens to be in every picture.

Police are hardly ever called because the damage is slight. In leaving the scene, Nunzio has the young girl’s name, address, and telephone number. How convenient for him!

Police say Nunzio uses the information he obtains at accident scenes to contact women at their home, or he pesters them on the telephone where they work.

Ultimately Nunzio is arrested. Is he charged in connection with all the traffic accidents? No, the 40-year-old weirdo is charged with sexual harassment.

Prosecutors have enough reason to get a search warrant. During a search of Nunzio’s apartment they find over 2,000 photographs of young woman standing next to damaged cars. Each young woman’s name, address and telephone number is written on the back of the photo.


Copyright-Bob Ford 2005      


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As a police reporter turned retired South Carolina Cop, Bob Ford writes "Call the Cops" with authority. "Call the Cops" ranges from the humorous to the outright bizarre and is published in several media throughout the Southeastern United States.   Bob is also CopNet's South Carolina Screening Officer.



Write to Bob Ford at: BobFord@fenrir.com



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