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"Fast Footed Mountie"

The following story was given to me by Glen, a good friend and retired deputy sheriff. Although this didnít happen to Glen personally, he wishes it did ó and he swears itís true.

The story takes place around 3 a.m. on the Trans-Canada Highway near Medicine Hat in Alberta Province. Itís March and therefore extremely cold. Itís a policy of many Canadian police to check on vehicles stalled along the highway, especially when temperatures dip down into single digits.

Constable Wooten of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police is awakened by a call from Provincial Headquarters to check on a stalled vehicle.

The constable finds the car on the shoulder of the road with its motor still running. The driver appears to be asleep behind the wheel. But the empty bottle of vodka on the front seat makes Constable Wooten wonder if the driver is asleep ó or passed out!

A few taps on the window awaken the driver. The sight of flashing blue lights in his rearview mirror startles the driver. Then, he spots the Mountie standing outside the passenger window.

Without thinking, the driver brushes the vodka bottle off the front seat, puts the car in gear and hits the gas pedal. The tires whiz, but the car, solidly stuck in the snow, goes nowhere. The speedometer registers 40 kilometers per hour (a little over 20 mph). The mountie, who must have a great sense of humor, begins running in place beside the car. Of course, neither car nor cop is going anywhere. The driver presses on to 55 kilometers per hour (about 35 mph) but the Mountie continues to keep pace ó or so it seems to the driver.

Finally the Mountie shouts through the window, "Pull over!"

Frustrated, the driver eases off the gas pedal and comes to (what he considers) a full stop.

The driver is too drunk to take the roadside sobriety test. The Mountie takes the man to the Medicine Hat Jail where he books him for drunk driving.

Still believing the constable actually outran his car, the driver, in slurred speech, asks the jailer, "How fast do they make them run to qualify for the Mounties?"

Copyright-Bob Ford 2004      

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Bad Guys Good Guys

As a police reporter turned retired South Carolina Cop, Bob Ford writes "Call the Cops" with authority. "Call the Cops" ranges from the humorous to the outright bizarre and is published in several media throughout the Southeastern United States.   Bob is also CopNet's South Carolina Screening Officer.

Write to Bob Ford at: BobFord@fenrir.com

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