Hoyt is a 28-year-old who hasn’t grown up yet. He still lives at home where he’s supposed to pay room and board to mom and dad—but that’s all about to change.

Hoyt is desperate for money. He never liked any of the jobs he had. He didn’t realize that’s why they call it "work."

This particular day Hoyt sees an elderly woman standing alone at a bus stop. The streets are nearly deserted and Hoyt has a glancing thought of grabbing the old lady’s purse.

Hoyt lacks any real courage. To work up to his misdeed, he’s pacing back and forth behind the old lady trying to figure out whether or not to pounce.

You don’t get to be an old lady without some sense, and this old lady senses trouble. Suddenly, she spins around and with one arm extended directly toward Hoyt she yells: "Sonny, don’t I know your mother?" That did it. Hoyt takes off running and doesn’t stop for 10 blocks.

A few days later Hoyt comes up with what he considers a master plan. He steals some of his father’s nitroglycerin pills. His dad takes these for occasional chest pain. Hoyt only knows that he’s seen nitroglycerin used as an explosive in an old Clint Eastwood western.

Try not to get ahead of me here. Days later, Hoyt shows up at the bank, walks up to a teller and demands money. Holding a half dozen pills in one hand, Hoyt declares, "I’ve got nitro here, and I know how to use it."

Nobody moves. One teller who knows Hoyt starts giggling. That’s when he throws the pills into his mouth, walks over to a teller station and starts banging his head on the counter.

Hoyt looked confused when he didn’t explode. But within a few minutes he did pass out. The 0.4 MG tablets of nitro had made his head swim and he simply fainted.

Now Hoyt won’t have to worry about paying mom and dad for room and board each week. The state will provide for all of his creature comforts in the foreseeable future.