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"Ocean Tides"

The guy blends in with the crowd. He’s wearing shorts and a tank-top, beach shoes, and carrying a gym bag. What makes him stand out from the crowd is when he opens the gym bag and removes a ski-mask and a Mac-10 machine pistol.

"Everybody face down on the floor!" the masked guy yells. The beachside bar is filled mostly with college kids on spring break. They do as they are ordered.

"You, behind the bar, put the money in here," the gunman says, tossing the gym bag over by the register.

Within three minutes he’s out the door with the ski-mask and the Mac-10 in the money bag. He takes off running toward the beach.

It’s twilight. The holdup guy’s plan is working perfectly, so far. He’s planned every detail. Spent several hours across the street beforehand, playing miniature golf and checking how often the police came by. He’s thought of everything. Well, almost.

As the robber races along the beach toward his car, what he sees next sickens him. Surf from the incoming tide is splashing up against the grill of his Cherokee. The wheels are sunk deep in the sand. His getaway car is hopelessly stuck!

The holdup guy’s plans have collapsed. In panic, he takes off running - and he’s fast. Patrons from the bar are about a hundred yards behind him. Police have been alerted. Three lifeguards join in the chase. Somebody should have warned this guy: No matter what kind of shape you’re in, you’ll never outrun a lifeguard.

Desperate, the holdup guy drops his gym bag and leaps into the surf. About thirty yards out, the water is getting deep. He begins swimming.

Twenty minutes later, after spitting-up a couple of quarts of ocean water, the guy looks up at the police. "My car-how did it get in the water?"

Standing in the background, the lifeguard who saved the guy’s life comments: "Dorothy here must be from Kansas. He never heard about ocean tides."

What ever happened to the gym bag with the ski-mask, the Mac-10, and all that money? Somebody picked it up at the water’s edge, but absent-mindedly forgot to hand it over to the authorities.


Copyright-Bob Ford-2002      


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Bad Guys Good Guys


As a police reporter turned retired South Carolina Cop, Bob Ford writes "Call the Cops" with authority. "Call the Cops" ranges from the humorous to the outright bizarre and is published in several media throughout the Southeastern United States.   Bob is also CopNet's South Carolina Screening Officer.



Write to Bob Ford at: BobFord@fenrir.com



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