Paramedics are responding to a 911 call of "a man down." The victim looks to be about 35. He’s doubled up, writhing on the street and screaming, "They poisoned me, I’m gonna die." Paramedics radio police headquarters just in case this turns into a criminal case.

A man and a woman step out of a motor home parked at the curb. They walk over to the paramedic. "Nobody poisoned him," says the motor home guy. "He’s just a good-for-nothing crook."

A police patrol car pulls up at the scene. "What’s going on, Doc?" the cop asks the paramedic.

The paramedic explains what little he knows about the incident. The victim is still writhing on the street and moaning that he’s "dying."

"Officer!" says the motor home guy, "if you’ll let me explain, I can tell you exactly what’s happening here."

The cop and the paramedic both listen eagerly to the man standing in front of them.

"This guy isn’t dying, I promise you," says the motor home guy. "See that short stub of garden hose on the street? That’s what this idiot used to try to siphon gas out of my motor home.

"Trouble is, he stuck the hose in the wrong tank. Instead of the gas tank, he plugged the hose into the sewage tank."

The cop and the paramedic stand up and back away from the victim like he might be some kind of leper. The so-called victim continues to moan and groan. He has not heard a word the motor home guy said about him.

After the paper work is finished, the "dying victim" is released. Charges of "attempted petty larceny" will not be filed in this case.

"I’ve already had my laugh quota for one day," says the motor home guy.